Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Valentines day!
Having a holiday where people feel obligated to buy their significant other something special puts too much pressure on relationships. I guess I only think this because I envy the people who are in love. Tonight I went to dinner with my friend Brandon. We have both been broken and beat down by past relationships and felt the need to go to dinner to vent about how much we hate the people who have hurt us and to make sure that we realize we are better off without them. Brandon and I met on a dating website(yes laugh if you must). We were both pressured to go on this from friends and through this we became very good friends. I enjoy having him around and I think I keep him around because I see some potential in him for the future. I think that us building our friendship and trying to mend our broken hearts together is helping both of us become stronger people. It is nice to have someone who understands me and wants to hear about my problems and fears. I know Im not emotionally ready to be in a relationship but it doesnt stop me from wanting one. I want to graduate from college and have a steady teaching job before I commit myself to anyone. I have put my goals on hold for far too long and it is time to think about me for once. So to sum it up, Im bitter and jealous of all the people who are in love and think this is a special day. Hopefully next year I will find it special as well, but until then, I have Caleb to be my special Valentine not just on February 14th, but every day of the year.
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Ash - you're totally right in thinking that you need to focus on yourself. That's one thing that I have learned, if you're not happy with yourself, no one else can be happy with you either. You have to put yourself as #1 (I know that goes against everything that you've probably been told as a mom), if you don't take care of yourself first, you won't be the best mom, girlfriend, employee, etc. Feeling good about yourself changes everything for the better and you can only do that if you take the time for yourself to do it. O.K.! that's my "older and wiser" lecture for the week! BTW - have you talked to the church guy yet?????
ReplyDeleteAnd...keep me posted on the moving in with bro thing. I really am curious as to how that is going to work with girlfriend. Your blogs could get REALLY interesting!! Maybe you should just start something with her so you can write about it! HAHAHA only kidding!!
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