Yesterday was a great day! I have been hanging out with this guy Cory, he has two boys. Well they all came over for dinner last night and his boys and Caleb played to well together! They are adorable and well mannered too! They plaayed outside and in Caleb's room and them watched a movie. Cory and I talked and enjoyed a bottle of wine. I also made him watch American Idol with me LOL. Which is not his thing at all., but he was a trooper! When they left Caleb was sad, he wanted to know when his friends would be coming back. So I think I might have found a good fit for Caleb and me. We will see though.
   On a not so good note I have been having a hard time with Caleb at daycare. He is really good when he is not with Gabe. The daycare told me they are having issues with behavior with Gabe and when Caleb is arould him he wornt listen. So as a parent do I tell Caleb not to play with him? And no matter what I do I will be the bad guy because Gabe is Calebs dads stepson. I dotn want to tell Caleb who he can and cant play with, but I dont need my son acting like a brat at school, especially when I have been working so hard to get him to behave. What to do?????

Nearing the end

Nothing like last minute. I dont know where the time went but as we end the spring semester I find myself in crunch time. My 10 page research paper for anthropology was due last night at midnight and I submitted it at 11:57pm! Wow! So not like me to wait till the last minute but this semester has been full of challenges. Everything from family issues to being 25 years old and still trying to find myself has really put some barriers in my way. Now I have a anthropology test to take by friday and I really need to do well on it or Im sure I will be retaking the class. If I do that I will for sure lose my Grant and Financial Aid. I dont even want to think about that. Now Im looking at the assignments that are due within the next two weeks and I have a project paper due on Monday. 8-12 pages! Ugh..... It will be easy because I read the books and I have ideas, my problem is putting the ideas on paper and having them make sense. To top it off, I know I shouldnt go to Oregon this weekend because I have so much homework, but I promised my niece I would be at her state gymnatics tournament. A promise is a promise. I dont care if she is only 7. I cant miss it and dont want to. It just means that this week I will on average get 4 hours of sleep. Oh adn a little side note, NEVER ASK FOR AN EXTRA SHOT IN YOUR COFFEE AND THEN DRINK A MT. DEW AFTER THAT. YOU WILL NEVER GET TO SLEEP! Well Im just glad this semester is almost over and I can start fresh this summer. Hopefully Im more motivated this summer. Oh and on a totally different topic, Caleb is now out of pull ups!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!! We have not had an accident in over a week. Im so proud of him!
   I stumbled upon this quote this weekend. Not sure who said it but it had really inspired me. I keep telling myself the stress and tears are going to be worth it soon. This quote put my life into perspective.

 

"Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow."

  What a great Easter! Good thing I only have one kid because I would be broke if I had more! Well the weekend was interesting. I went on a date friday night with a guy who has two kids. Never thought I would date anyone that has one kid let alone 2! Well, Im openminded and glad I decided to be. He is a great guy. He is raising his boys by himself. We went to dinner then went bowling. It was great fun.
   On friday night my brother had a birthday party for his girlfriend (who is not my favorite person). I got home saturday at 1130 and they were still sleeping and the house was a mess! Well, I started to clean up because I didnt want Caleb to grab a beer can or think that a jello shot was actual jello. When they woke up, they laid on the couch and watched me clean. She didnt lift a finger adn my brother just took out the trash. Woo flippin hoo! I was not happy and when I see my brother we will have words. Sunday was better, Caleb and I met my parents at church and Caleb was really good. Then we spent the day at their house. It was absolutely beautiful outside. Caleb played outside all day with the neighbor kids and they were so good with him. Last night I began my research paper. Ugh.... why do I wait till the last minute to do things. It is due tonight at midnight and I have only written three pages of a 10 page research paper. Of course the paper is in my least favorite class. Oh well, I will just have to bust it out tinight after work.

Do bad things happen in threes??????

So I have been trying very hard to stay optimistic about life and all my challenges. I know people have it worse than I do so I should thank my lucky starts but things have been happening and I feel like throwing in the towel. I have been having some medical issues and spending way more money than I have to get everything taken care of. The last few days have been physically and enotionally painful. Then I get a call from the health and welfare saying my son doesnt have health insurance because his dad is supposed to carry Caleb for the insurance. Well, Caleb is a sick kid having him on Medicaid is the best thing because I cant afford to pay the insurance. If it is in Calebs dads hands to give me money for insurance every month he wont do it. Then Im really screwed. Especially since I cant work this summer and Im having to live off my tax money. His dad is also supposed to pay 62% of daycare and has never paid a dime!!!!!! Im freaking out! So now my three year old has no medical insurance and I cant put him on my insurance because im quiting for the summer PACE program. I think my best bet is to take Caleb's dad to court and sue him for daycare and medical expenses. I dont want to have to do that because I will end up looking like the bad guy like I always do. Then I find out that I have been giving my brother rent money to help him pay the mortgage and he is already two month behind! So if he doesnt get caught up on the payments, Caleb amnd I will be looking for another place. I cant handle all this! I feel like Im alone against this crazy world.

Easter

Coming from a Catholic family, Easter has always been a big special holiday for us. Sadly, my sister is not able to come home for Easter and my brother is going to Hope, Idaho so spend the weekend with his girlfriends family. I realize us kids are getting older and we are going to start having our own family traditions but its still sad that we wil not all be together in this special day. Well, here is where my dilemma lies. So since Matt is not going to be here, and neither is Amanda, it will just be Mikey, and me and Caleb with mom and dad on Easter. My dad had this idea (which is stupid), to go to Easter Mass on Saturday night because it is the mass where the new Catholics get publicly introduced at church and where the high schoolers receive their conformation. This Mass begins at 8pm because it has to start after sundown traditionally. Well, I asked my dad, "do you really think Caleb is going to be good at an hour and a half mass that will take place well after his bedtime?" He said, well I want to see the kids receive conformation and I want to see the new Catholics be introduced. You and Caleb can go to Easter Mass by yourselves. This really hurt me. I know it is just one Mass but it has been such a family thing for as long as I can remember, it just hurt that he would even mention that. It would be different if I had a husband or even a boyfriend to go to mass with me. Then I would feel more like a family. I know my reasoning sounds stupid and I dont need a man to feel like a family, but it is not the same. It sucks, its like my sister has her husband and her kids, Matt has his girlfriend, Mikey will either go with our parents or with his girlfriends parents and I have no one. Ugh..... I promised I wouldn't whine about my life.   

Nervous

So tomorrow is the day. Orientation and interview for phase 1 in the PACE program. Im not sure what to expect or what to bring. All the email said was basically dress nice! Common sense is telling me to bring a notepad and a pen to write things down because I have a horrible memory. Also I did write down the classes I want to take in the fall to make sure they are what I need for the program. Hopefully all goes well tomorrow.

After the interview and orientation, I have to hall butt to a birthday party for my friends little man. Its all the way in Colbert WA and is at 2pm. Im praying we can make it there in time. My friends hubby is in the military in Afghanistan right now but is coming home in June to his station in NC. So Katie is packing up and moving back to NC. Im sad she is leaving me again but happy she will be with her hubby soon. The birthday party is probably the last time I will see her for a long time :(

Well, I better leave on a good note. Tonight I had bunco with the ladies and I won most losses! Woohoo! Nothin beats bunco and wine with the ladies :)  

Spring????????

Spring really????? I beg to differ. Its freezing outside still! Hello mother nature, figure it out already! Im so tired of being cold and this weather is making me all depressed. Not to mention I have this nasty cough Im trying to get rid of. My throat is killing me. Im just grateful that Caleb hasnt caught it yet! Hopefully he doesnt. April has been the busiest month so far this year. I have soooo many projects and research papers due, the interviews for the PACE program, and apparently all my girlfriends decided to have babies in the month of April. I have been to 3 birthday parties already and I have one on Saturday and one Sunday. Im going broke and Im sure Caleb is wondering when its his turn lol. So some of you have been curious about how the living situation is going. Well..... its ok, rather drama free which is good for the time being. I still cant stand the girlfriend. She bugs the crap out of me. Way too girly and always thinking about how everyone else needs psychological help. Really girl, look in the mirror! And just because you are a psych major doesnt mean you can psychoanalysis my dating life! Oh well I will play nice because I love my brother. Sometimes I hate being the bigger person haha. I am pretty excited to head down to Oregon the end of the month. My niece qualified for the state gymnastics tournament so obviously I have to watch her!!!!!!!! It will be a nice well deserved break. Well, I really have nothing else to say. Im tired and I think part of my brain is already asleep so I think the other part is about to join in on the slumber.