Yesterday was a great day! I have been hanging out with this guy Cory, he has two boys. Well they all came over for dinner last night and his boys and Caleb played to well together! They are adorable and well mannered too! They plaayed outside and in Caleb's room and them watched a movie. Cory and I talked and enjoyed a bottle of wine. I also made him watch American Idol with me LOL. Which is not his thing at all., but he was a trooper! When they left Caleb was sad, he wanted to know when his friends would be coming back. So I think I might have found a good fit for Caleb and me. We will see though.
   On a not so good note I have been having a hard time with Caleb at daycare. He is really good when he is not with Gabe. The daycare told me they are having issues with behavior with Gabe and when Caleb is arould him he wornt listen. So as a parent do I tell Caleb not to play with him? And no matter what I do I will be the bad guy because Gabe is Calebs dads stepson. I dotn want to tell Caleb who he can and cant play with, but I dont need my son acting like a brat at school, especially when I have been working so hard to get him to behave. What to do?????

Nearing the end

Nothing like last minute. I dont know where the time went but as we end the spring semester I find myself in crunch time. My 10 page research paper for anthropology was due last night at midnight and I submitted it at 11:57pm! Wow! So not like me to wait till the last minute but this semester has been full of challenges. Everything from family issues to being 25 years old and still trying to find myself has really put some barriers in my way. Now I have a anthropology test to take by friday and I really need to do well on it or Im sure I will be retaking the class. If I do that I will for sure lose my Grant and Financial Aid. I dont even want to think about that. Now Im looking at the assignments that are due within the next two weeks and I have a project paper due on Monday. 8-12 pages! Ugh..... It will be easy because I read the books and I have ideas, my problem is putting the ideas on paper and having them make sense. To top it off, I know I shouldnt go to Oregon this weekend because I have so much homework, but I promised my niece I would be at her state gymnatics tournament. A promise is a promise. I dont care if she is only 7. I cant miss it and dont want to. It just means that this week I will on average get 4 hours of sleep. Oh adn a little side note, NEVER ASK FOR AN EXTRA SHOT IN YOUR COFFEE AND THEN DRINK A MT. DEW AFTER THAT. YOU WILL NEVER GET TO SLEEP! Well Im just glad this semester is almost over and I can start fresh this summer. Hopefully Im more motivated this summer. Oh and on a totally different topic, Caleb is now out of pull ups!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!! We have not had an accident in over a week. Im so proud of him!
   I stumbled upon this quote this weekend. Not sure who said it but it had really inspired me. I keep telling myself the stress and tears are going to be worth it soon. This quote put my life into perspective.

 

"Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow."

  What a great Easter! Good thing I only have one kid because I would be broke if I had more! Well the weekend was interesting. I went on a date friday night with a guy who has two kids. Never thought I would date anyone that has one kid let alone 2! Well, Im openminded and glad I decided to be. He is a great guy. He is raising his boys by himself. We went to dinner then went bowling. It was great fun.
   On friday night my brother had a birthday party for his girlfriend (who is not my favorite person). I got home saturday at 1130 and they were still sleeping and the house was a mess! Well, I started to clean up because I didnt want Caleb to grab a beer can or think that a jello shot was actual jello. When they woke up, they laid on the couch and watched me clean. She didnt lift a finger adn my brother just took out the trash. Woo flippin hoo! I was not happy and when I see my brother we will have words. Sunday was better, Caleb and I met my parents at church and Caleb was really good. Then we spent the day at their house. It was absolutely beautiful outside. Caleb played outside all day with the neighbor kids and they were so good with him. Last night I began my research paper. Ugh.... why do I wait till the last minute to do things. It is due tonight at midnight and I have only written three pages of a 10 page research paper. Of course the paper is in my least favorite class. Oh well, I will just have to bust it out tinight after work.

Do bad things happen in threes??????

So I have been trying very hard to stay optimistic about life and all my challenges. I know people have it worse than I do so I should thank my lucky starts but things have been happening and I feel like throwing in the towel. I have been having some medical issues and spending way more money than I have to get everything taken care of. The last few days have been physically and enotionally painful. Then I get a call from the health and welfare saying my son doesnt have health insurance because his dad is supposed to carry Caleb for the insurance. Well, Caleb is a sick kid having him on Medicaid is the best thing because I cant afford to pay the insurance. If it is in Calebs dads hands to give me money for insurance every month he wont do it. Then Im really screwed. Especially since I cant work this summer and Im having to live off my tax money. His dad is also supposed to pay 62% of daycare and has never paid a dime!!!!!! Im freaking out! So now my three year old has no medical insurance and I cant put him on my insurance because im quiting for the summer PACE program. I think my best bet is to take Caleb's dad to court and sue him for daycare and medical expenses. I dont want to have to do that because I will end up looking like the bad guy like I always do. Then I find out that I have been giving my brother rent money to help him pay the mortgage and he is already two month behind! So if he doesnt get caught up on the payments, Caleb amnd I will be looking for another place. I cant handle all this! I feel like Im alone against this crazy world.

Easter

Coming from a Catholic family, Easter has always been a big special holiday for us. Sadly, my sister is not able to come home for Easter and my brother is going to Hope, Idaho so spend the weekend with his girlfriends family. I realize us kids are getting older and we are going to start having our own family traditions but its still sad that we wil not all be together in this special day. Well, here is where my dilemma lies. So since Matt is not going to be here, and neither is Amanda, it will just be Mikey, and me and Caleb with mom and dad on Easter. My dad had this idea (which is stupid), to go to Easter Mass on Saturday night because it is the mass where the new Catholics get publicly introduced at church and where the high schoolers receive their conformation. This Mass begins at 8pm because it has to start after sundown traditionally. Well, I asked my dad, "do you really think Caleb is going to be good at an hour and a half mass that will take place well after his bedtime?" He said, well I want to see the kids receive conformation and I want to see the new Catholics be introduced. You and Caleb can go to Easter Mass by yourselves. This really hurt me. I know it is just one Mass but it has been such a family thing for as long as I can remember, it just hurt that he would even mention that. It would be different if I had a husband or even a boyfriend to go to mass with me. Then I would feel more like a family. I know my reasoning sounds stupid and I dont need a man to feel like a family, but it is not the same. It sucks, its like my sister has her husband and her kids, Matt has his girlfriend, Mikey will either go with our parents or with his girlfriends parents and I have no one. Ugh..... I promised I wouldn't whine about my life.   

Nervous

So tomorrow is the day. Orientation and interview for phase 1 in the PACE program. Im not sure what to expect or what to bring. All the email said was basically dress nice! Common sense is telling me to bring a notepad and a pen to write things down because I have a horrible memory. Also I did write down the classes I want to take in the fall to make sure they are what I need for the program. Hopefully all goes well tomorrow.

After the interview and orientation, I have to hall butt to a birthday party for my friends little man. Its all the way in Colbert WA and is at 2pm. Im praying we can make it there in time. My friends hubby is in the military in Afghanistan right now but is coming home in June to his station in NC. So Katie is packing up and moving back to NC. Im sad she is leaving me again but happy she will be with her hubby soon. The birthday party is probably the last time I will see her for a long time :(

Well, I better leave on a good note. Tonight I had bunco with the ladies and I won most losses! Woohoo! Nothin beats bunco and wine with the ladies :)  

Spring????????

Spring really????? I beg to differ. Its freezing outside still! Hello mother nature, figure it out already! Im so tired of being cold and this weather is making me all depressed. Not to mention I have this nasty cough Im trying to get rid of. My throat is killing me. Im just grateful that Caleb hasnt caught it yet! Hopefully he doesnt. April has been the busiest month so far this year. I have soooo many projects and research papers due, the interviews for the PACE program, and apparently all my girlfriends decided to have babies in the month of April. I have been to 3 birthday parties already and I have one on Saturday and one Sunday. Im going broke and Im sure Caleb is wondering when its his turn lol. So some of you have been curious about how the living situation is going. Well..... its ok, rather drama free which is good for the time being. I still cant stand the girlfriend. She bugs the crap out of me. Way too girly and always thinking about how everyone else needs psychological help. Really girl, look in the mirror! And just because you are a psych major doesnt mean you can psychoanalysis my dating life! Oh well I will play nice because I love my brother. Sometimes I hate being the bigger person haha. I am pretty excited to head down to Oregon the end of the month. My niece qualified for the state gymnastics tournament so obviously I have to watch her!!!!!!!! It will be a nice well deserved break. Well, I really have nothing else to say. Im tired and I think part of my brain is already asleep so I think the other part is about to join in on the slumber.

Oh my oh my! Last weekend was a blast. The surprise 50th birthday party for my dad was a success! We had so much fun and my sister and her hubby and there kids came. That just topped off the surprise! My mom made cheese cake cupcakes that were sooo not on my diet but oh well, they were delicious. After my dads party my family and I headed to Toro Viejo for my brother in laws brothers birthday party. It was at the bar that was connected to the restaurant so the kids were allowed to go in their. And since they own the restaurant, it was free margaritas. I was in heaven! So as you could probably guess, none of us made it to church sunday morning. Lat weekend was a very rare occasion where all 4 of us kids and all the grandkids were in the same room together! It was so nice. We talked and laughed. It was great. I think my dad had a great time for his birthday weekend. Oh and Caleb and I are going to Oregon the last weekend in April to watch my niece compete in the state gymnastics meet. I cant wait for that! Basically life is good. It has not gone as planned but I wouldnt take back one day of this crazy life!

More American Idol!!!!!!

Ok so tonight was soooooo disappointing! Pia was great. I really thought she would be in the final three. I guess this is what I get for not voting! America really got it wrong this time. I was crying at the end of it. Even the judges were in awe of the results. Oh well, the show is like a sick addiction for me. I have to watch it every week. Im not happy but I guess I put my faith in Casey and Hailey!
 
So Im playing catch up on my assignments. Not sure how I fell so far behind but I did. Im exhausted and I have an assignment due tonight, two due tomorrow night and one saturday night. And to top it off I have family in town all weekend for my dads 50th birthday. Yep Im pretty much not getting any sleep till Sunday night. Oh well, I get to see my niece and three nephews so Im super excited! Oh and on a totally different note, Caleb is out of pull ups at night!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Thats gonna save me some cash monies!!!!!!!

Tool

These last few months I have met some really neat people. On guy I met through my cousin is very much into music like I am. But while Im the country music buff, he like the rock genre. He has been having me listen to a band called Tool and once called Shine Down. Both by the way, amazing! The lyrics are beautiful and the music is just great. I have defiantly expanded my musical preference.

I have been so exhausted these last two days. Im playing catch up on homework and Caleb has not been sleeping very well so in turn I dont sleep very well. Also he has been coming into my room to sleep the last two nights. Im not sure what his deal is lately but Im losing valuable sleep! Also I think this whole party planning for my dad is stressing me out too. There is so much to do before Saturday and I still have to work and do homework. Not sure how this is going to pan out but I can tell you one thing...... IM SOOOOOO excited to see my sister and the kids and her hubby! Im so happy they are coming and our dad is going to be so surprised! Minus being tired all the flippin time, things are good. Living with my brother is a breeze (minus the snatch) and I can wait to see my sister so, Im a happy girl!

family day

Saturday morning was hectic. Caleb and I rushed to my parents house to help with the garden in the back yard. In the hail/rain we had all day, it was interesting trying to put up cinder blocks and dirt. It was a great family day overall. When the weather finally decided to cooperate we played basketball and soccer in the back yard. After the projects were done, Caleb and I went shopping again. Sunday was a typical day, church, breakfast with mom and dad then games in the back yard. We set up the polish golf game and my mom (who has no athletic ability) kick our butt. After hanging out with mom and dad, Caleb and I went for a walk down to one of the schools here in town, then went to Walmart. It was a fun relaxing day. I love my weekends so much. I do wish I didnt have to work so I could stay home and be with little man and focus on school but life isnt always the way we want. If I stopped going shopping I could afford to stay home but thats not likely to happen.

So on a totally different note, Caleb has been so funny lately. He has been saying the best things ever from quoting movies to blurting out randomness. Today at church he pointed to an older lady that was sitting behind us and pointed and said, mom she is really short. It was hard not to laugh because he has no filter but I held in the laughter. He also told me that he was smarter than me. I told him well someday Im sure you will be. Lately I have been realizing the blessings I have in my life. The simple fact that I get to spend so much time with my family on the weekends and being with my son on the weekends is such a blessing.