Turning over a new leaf on life

My sons father is married to the girl that he cheated on me with. They have a baby on the way and she already has a son from a different guy. It has been two years since my sons father and I broke up and I still seem to be carrying around hate for them. I was so hurt when everything happened. I felt bad for my son. He not has to be raised in a broken home. He will have a half sibling soon and he already has a step brother. Do I really want more kids? I mean Caleb's life is so complicated and messed up as it is. All I care about is making sure Caleb has the best life possible. Everything I do is for him. Maybe Im too selfish with my time with him that I cant possibly have time for a man in our life. Anyways, I have been on talking terms with Calebs dads wife and I have been trying so hard to get rid of the hate in my heart. Although Calebs dad and I do not get along he has been taking Caleb on his weekends now and has been paying child support finally. I want Caleb to have a relatively stable life. Im trying so hard to get along with them for Calebs sake. Im trying to be a better person and most of all a better mom. Caleb can sense when Im upset. I remember the first time I say Calebs dad and his wife driving in his truck on Seltice in Post Falls. It was summer of 2009 and his dad and I just broke up in January on 2009. When I saw them my heart sank. I felt like I could have thrown up right there in my car. I began to cry. When we got home I fell to the ground and started bawling. Caleb came up to me and started to cry and said, mommy no cry, I love you. He was only two at the time. Caleb has been through so much in his three short years of being in this crazy world. I want to be a better person for me but most of all for him.